Nothing can trump the frustration of having a serious crush on someone: the uncontrollable stuttering, uncharacteristic panic, the inability to construct coherent sentences, moments of getting stuck in your head when you should articulate a response, waves of regret in retrospect – thinking up clever retorts you could’ve said instead of smiling sheepishly.

Perhaps all of the above is just me, but when I take a liking to someone, I tend be quite overboard – I mean, I get so deep in my emotions… taking to heart everything said to me by my current interest: the emojis used in iMessage texts, punctuation & general text tone; then, I read between the lines: making conclusions based on body language (the time length of our hugs, the direction of his body when we’re seated, also, intentionally placing objects between us when we’re at a table – waiting to see if he’ll remove the obstructions between us (oh my gosh… This is almost embarrassing!); there are a host of things I do, but the last one I’ll mention is, I often share things I like: sweets, a game of naughts & crosses, a hot beverage or a favourite hangout spot to see if this person is really “my kind” of person.

The last I made mention of this crush phenomenon to a friend, she asked, “do people still have crushes?” & I thought to myself: “have the affections of the heart changed over time?”

Of course not. I am resolute in my belief that everyday,  people are standing in solidarity with me in fighting the struggle of the crush: forcefully willing your mind to stop its train of thought about this one person; reminding oneself to keep their feet on the ground & remain in the moment – NOT in one’s head (!); trying, by all means possible, to see the person objectively in an attempt to identify the shortcomings your heart makes you blind to; gradually removing them from the pedestal you’ve placed them on unconsciously & ultimately bringing it back to the fact that this person is human, and is likely to let you down – let alone the fact that your affections may be unrequited.

Crushes are both a thorn in one’s side & a joy. I count it all joy – it’s a passing thing, most times… Unless it’s your future spouse your heart has its eyes on. (Haha! Then you’re in luck!)

What experience came to mind while reading this post? I’m keen to read all about it!


15 thoughts on “The Afflictions of a Stolen Heart

  1. Painful just painful, nowadays the chances of having a crush On someone and to find that someone having an interest in you is like 2/10 it’s either you too sweet or too soft or too much of a bad boy or too much of a good boy there are a few people who say yes he is a good boy but let me see his heart.

    1. Sbu, maybe it’s different for you gentlemen – but the ball is almost always in your court if we’re going by society’s patriarchal standard: make your move!
      Show her what you’re about. 🙂

  2. I have had the same crush for 5 months now, you would think I’d be over it. It is a joy , or at least before you come back down to earth.

  3. At the moment, I’ve had one main crush for just over a month. Anything accociated with him is hyper emotional and over analyzing me comes out in full force in all the ways. And then I have a celebrity crush (do these still count?) At the moment it’s the comedian Loyiso Gola. But I mean, all I do is like his Instagram photos and all his tweets. And then I have mini crushes on anyone else who captures my attention as I go about my days. The handsome stranger crushes.

    1. Oh my hat! I think you might just be my spirit human! Haha!
      I am the exact same, except, I have no current crush. As for the celebrity one, well, it counts, but I’d say it’s a better case because you’re less likely to get hurt by Loyiso Gola’s sudden engagement to another woman or something of that nature.

      I LOVE stranger crushes, especially the ones that frequent one place so you know you’ll see their gorgeous face. But the secret with those is to maintain your distance, to protect the sanctity of the mystery around him – LOL.
      I’ve always found that the intrigue dies as soon as the said gentleman makes a move to initiate conversation: suddenly his voice is not what you imagined, he has lame mannerisms that go against everything you imagined he would do, his breath is smelly & he has a nervous disposition about him. Oh, my shattered heart: yes, they’re definitely ALWAYS better from a distance.

  4. A crush? this is more like falling in love because A crush is something less special then what you described above. at least according to me.

    the described feeling does not come very often. it would take you a long time before you develop that feeling again but a crush can change even twice or more in a year or 2. #according to me

  5. I adore this – I love that many people are fascinated by this phenomenon of romantic interest. I would say I have my PhD in crushes 😂 (None of them successful)
    But great post!

  6. I just find it interesting how we often change to try accommodate what we think our crushes like or enjoy. Or is that just me?

    I don’t know, crushes are strange and I feel like the older I get the more I try to hide them. I am also incredibly indecisive and often afraid to make the first step or move in fear of rejection. A part of me loves the whole crush thing but another part of me trembles at the thought of it. If I like a girl I often leave it to long and things die down. Often I lack the courage to even ask her out for tea.. How sad?

    I need to upper my game!

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