(To be read again after our wedding – LOL)
My love, hey.
I have wrecked my brain about you for so many years; it will be both a relief and a pleasure to finally meet you! I am certain that you will be everything I imagined and more. In the same way, I hope that by the time it is appropriate to read this to you, I will have grown into the kind of woman you have dreamt to marry.
While I have been mildly obsessed with the idea of you, I’ve spent more time obsessing over our Creator. Consequently, I’ve grown to root my identity and self-worth in Him, rather than a secular relationship status; because of this, I’m complete in my own capacity and I, thankfully, don’t need you to come into my life to fill a void of any sort. I am hopeful, that because of my fervent prayers, you’re a fierce leader and a patient, gentle man. Actually, I can be sure that you’re well versed in the art of patience, because getting to know me is a tedious process at first (see this) – I’ve probably been a klutz, lost grip of my calm disposition (although, I’ve never actually had that..) and I have spoken A LOT of junk in the name of fearing awkward silences, and simply resorting to vomiting words as a coping mechanism, for what I imagine are my ridiculous levels of stress and anxiety around you.
I look forward to having sleepovers with you, my best friend, every night for the rest of my life. If you’re a snorer, that’s okay, because I sleep like the dead. I hope you’re into cuddles because I certainly won’t let you go for the first six months or so… and, you BETTER have warm feet because mine are always cold & socks never (I mean, ever.) do the trick. You must know, that I won’t wake up at 4a.m. to quickly brush my teeth before you wake up, in an attempt to save you from the reality of my ponging morning breath (Haha! I’m sorry my love!). However, we will have epic cereal breakfasts during the week & make it a point to have a special brunch date every Sunday after church: I’ll take care of the carb portions, & you can fuss over the healthy stuff.
We’re going to be a servant powerhouse: serving with passion in our respective areas of ministry. We’ll open our doors to people, leading them by example & in truth – and babe, with whatever we have, we will be generous; giving time where it is needed, feeding empty bellies & clothing bare backs. May there never be a day when we look at our finances & fear for the future, even in full knowledge of God’s faithfulness & His promise to provide for us. Whether or not our bank balances reflect negative values, we’ll know we still have everything we need: our faith & trust in God to do with us what is just & good. You’re going to lead with strong conviction & direction – not swayed by the whims of your heart… Love, we will not be led by our emotions.
Gosh, younger people will look to us as their #relationshipgoals & our peers will admire what we have. Our children will grow up knowing that they are loved by their mom & dad; they will be secure in that & relate to the world around them with the view that they are valued: we won’t have to worry about our daughter dating men beneath her, or our sons becoming the men we warn our daughter about. They will bring us joy & push us to become better people and work harder to provide the best lives we can for them. They will be academic boffins, multi-talented athletes & expressive artists: we will encourage & nurture their talents. Please promise me that we will support their chosen career paths, even if it seems at first that it will pay poorly, by our standards.
I’ll teach them to drive, because my mom taught my family, and I’ll probably be able to practice more grace & patience with them, because of the way mom pushed each of her students gently in the right direction. On that note, I hope we’re going to be financially successful because I have an intense love of beautiful cars – one in particular is the Mercedes Benz GLE 450 AMG Coupe: it’s on the market at the starting price of R1,2 million… I see it in white with matte black rims, parked in our garage alongside a mystery vehicle that belongs to you. We’ve got our work cut out for us! Oh dear… I’ve touched the matter of a car, but don’t get me started on our home!
I hope you’re fond of new places, because I’m so keen for us to travel far & near. We’re going to get our hands on an RV for a few weeks & go on all the road trips you can imagine; and trains, I’ve always dreamt of traveling somewhere scenic by train for a few days – one with comfy bunkers, delicious food & good music; we’ll fly too, because we must see Europe & the East, but we must comb through Africa first. Of course, a sea cruise is in order, but let’s start small at first, I have an unexplainable reverence for the ocean.
We’re going to get old and age, so I understand that you might grow a bit of a belly, & I might too, but can we make it a point to live healthily & pursue fitness throughout our lives? We can be those amazing black parents who age well, and remain contemporary & “in with the times.” We’ll attend the kids’ games & join parents’ races at their sports days. We’ll go to cool coffee spots & jazz clubs to hangout: our children will be familiar with romance in a Christian context, growing to love the idea of marriage – because of us! They’ll know that mom & dad often make out, that’s it’s grossly beautiful but weird, they’ll know that we go on weekends away to have time alone, and that intimacy within the context of marriage is a good thing!
There’s so much we have to give the world as a couple, but we won’t forget that in our marriage, we are two. Let’s keep each other accountable to achieve our respective goals, and understand that we must push each other to grow in our individual knowledge of Christ.
I’m so excited to see these things come true, hey husband. Baby, let’s just stay together, do this life thing and be great!
Your wife: Ayanda _______.