The Afflictions of a Stolen Heart

The Afflictions of a Stolen Heart


Nothing can trump the frustration of having a serious crush on someone: the uncontrollable stuttering, uncharacteristic panic, the inability to construct coherent sentences, moments of getting stuck in your head when you should articulate a response, waves of regret in retrospect – thinking up clever retorts you could’ve said instead of smiling sheepishly.

Perhaps all of the above is just me, but when I take a liking to someone, I tend be quite overboard – I mean, I get so deep in my emotions… taking to heart everything said to me by my current interest: the emojis used in iMessage texts, punctuation & general text tone; then, I read between the lines: making conclusions based on body language (the time length of our hugs, the direction of his body when we’re seated, also, intentionally placing objects between us when we’re at a table – waiting to see if he’ll remove the obstructions between us (oh my gosh… This is almost embarrassing!); there are a host of things I do, but the last one I’ll mention is, I often share things I like: sweets, a game of naughts & crosses, a hot beverage or a favourite hangout spot to see if this person is really “my kind” of person.

The last I made mention of this crush phenomenon to a friend, she asked, “do people still have crushes?” & I thought to myself: “have the affections of the heart changed over time?”

Of course not. I am resolute in my belief that everyday,  people are standing in solidarity with me in fighting the struggle of the crush: forcefully willing your mind to stop its train of thought about this one person; reminding oneself to keep their feet on the ground & remain in the moment – NOT in one’s head (!); trying, by all means possible, to see the person objectively in an attempt to identify the shortcomings your heart makes you blind to; gradually removing them from the pedestal you’ve placed them on unconsciously & ultimately bringing it back to the fact that this person is human, and is likely to let you down – let alone the fact that your affections may be unrequited.

Crushes are both a thorn in one’s side & a joy. I count it all joy – it’s a passing thing, most times… Unless it’s your future spouse your heart has its eyes on. (Haha! Then you’re in luck!)

What experience came to mind while reading this post? I’m keen to read all about it!


The Art of Kind

Apparently, it takes only twenty-one days of consistent repetition to develop a habit. With this said, we must ask ourselves why/how a mere three weeks stands between us and greatness.

Today marks ‘day two’ in my attempt to exercise consistently, and ‘day five’ in a sustainable hair regimen that will allow my ultimate hair fleekness, consistently. So, since we’re on the subject of developing habits, how’s about we chat about kindness?

I thought about this yesterday, that all it takes is to conscientize ourselves about those around us, to take a step out of our congested thoughts & look beyond our feet. I can’t speak for everyone, but I know that there are times when I’m overwhelmed with conviction about something & I then have to decide whether or not I will act on my feelings.

I shared this story, with great hesitance, on Facebook yesterday, about my encounter with an elderly man in a wheelchair, whose disability was as a result of a stranger’s reckless decision to drive drunk. His name is Nicholas Ngcobo, and the best way I can think to describe him is as an old and forgetful, lonely man.

I was mostly hesitant to share that I had taken him home, because, in the day of abundant self-seeking acts of kindness for public display, I didn’t want to ask for praise or congratulations from my online community. What I wanted most was to remind ordinary people of our responsibility to each other as a society. I am a firm believer in the Zulu proverb: “umuntu ngumuntu ngabantu,” in other words, I am because you are; isn’t that the holy grail of social interaction?

We’re all perfectly capable in the art of kind, some are just better practised than others. What will you do today to look beyond yourself?